I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
