I'm passing your future prison.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
