More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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