You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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