Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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