dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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