the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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