I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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