My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
