her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
