I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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