Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
