she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
40s are totally the cure
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
