I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
