You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
