I just cut my nipple shaving
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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