While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
