She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I want a musical about memes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
