You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
