that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
