I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
