Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
