I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize