I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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