I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
