We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
