apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
