I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize