..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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