I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
