What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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