Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
