i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
