Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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