Duck Duck Cougar?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
