i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
