about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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