rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
