Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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