big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
