she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Randomize
