Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
this will be a night to untag.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
