I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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