He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
