i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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