i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
