Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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