I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
