Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
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I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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