that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
