We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
