i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
