Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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