We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
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This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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