he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
