I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
