yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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