...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
His hands were made for my vagina.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
